Today, October 20th, is my birthday.
So I decided to start a blog.
This blog, to be specific.
I have so many things so say, but I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or lose friends or anything like that, that’s why this blog is completely anonymous. All that you need to know is that I have tried to write diaries but I always forget to write in them. I started one about starting high school in a new and huge school, but it didn’t work out so well, nothing really too exciting happened that is worth writing down after the second day.
Sometimes, I feel a little lonely at school or anywhere, even with all of my friends around me. I feel very distant from them and I just sit quietly and try to enjoy myself. I think I might feel a little depressed at times. But sometimes I wonder if it’s just because of my hormones going crazy.
I also deal with a lot of confidence issues about my body. I have started to feel better about myself, but I’m still not comfortable talking about my weight or wearing bikinis or stuff like that. But lettuce (hahahahahha) be honest here, who doesn’t deal with confidence issues as a teenage girl.
Top 4 Reasons to Have Confidence Issues as a Teenage Girl
- You always have to look hot for the guys out there
- Your hormones are going crazy (which makes it harder for #1 to happen)
- You get acne (which coincides with #2)
- You see every other girl around you and they all have a flat stomach and a thigh gap and they don’t have a double chin
- Then you at yourself in the mirror and find everything “wrong” with yourself
I think I just need someone to talk to or relate to.
I feel very uncomfortable when one of my friends starts talking about their weight and how they are “fat”, but then I want to say that I’m fatter than they are deep down inside. I try to avoid those situations by ignoring them and start listening to music on my phone or distracting myself, but all I can think about is my weight.
I know to get over your confidence you have to “fake it ’till you make it”, which can help to some extent, but you have to do something about as well.
I try my best to eat healthy and to exercise more, but with my busy schedule, I normally can’t find time to go swimming (it’s the only competitive sport I’m good at and that I like) or go biking because I take viola lessons, am in the school Campus Orchestra, am in Les Miserables in the orchestra pit for my school’s musical, and I am in a community orchestra.
I only get Saturdays to relax which is nice to have, I just read an entire 350 page book yesterday. It was “Girl Online: On Tour” by Zoe Sugg. It’s a really good relaxation book to snuggle up with in a cozy blanket and on a rainy, autumn day.
But anyways, I just need to write out my thoughts anonymously with someone, anyone, to listen and to relate to me.
If any of you deal with confidence issues or any other issue, feel free to leave your stories in the comments (you can write anonymously if you would like). Well, that’s all for today…
Girl lost, Girl found xxx
(P.S It says that I posted this on the 22nd, but i posted this on the 21st and I meant to post it yesterday)